Brush Your Teeth

I know I’m not alone when I say that some of my most intellectual thoughts come to me while I’m in the bathroom. Not necessarily on the toilet, just being in the space of a bathroom brings out the philosopher in me. Most recently I was reflecting on how old I am while brushing my teeth. Not necessarily how mature, rather just how much time has passed since all the things my dear friend Ben described in the last post.

            When I was little I use to dread brushing my teeth, and I don’t know why? It wasn’t painful there were no traumatic circumstances associated with it, I just didn’t want to do it. I don’t remember much from when I was little but I do remember having two toothbrushes. I had one electric toothbrush, not because I was lazy, no. This toothbrush served the very specific purpose of not brushing my teeth but naturally, brushing the wall of my bathroom. I figured out that putting this toothbrush against the wall would trick my parents into thinking I was actually brushing my teeth. Now, the second toothbrush was rarely used. In the event I actually decided one night I did want to brush my teeth, I saved this one so I wouldn’t have to use the wallbrush. (For some reason not brushing my teeth was sanitary but using the wallbrush was repulsive.)

            To this day it still puzzles me as to why I was so set against such a simple and purely beneficial action? I would plot all day. Contriving clever ways to avoid that horrendous act and stress if I couldn’t come up with something before the moment of truth that night came. Honestly, that was one of my biggest worries in my admittedly care free life up to that point.

            I somehow managed to make it through that phase of my life totally cavity free (if that’s not a miracle I don’t know what is.) It was funny to look back on myself and see how foolish I was but honestly, those long nights spent talking with Ben were no different. Ultimately none of it matters now, except for the relationship we created as a result. But it mattered to us in the moment. In fact nothing was more important. I would anticipate hearing his advice on the latest drama in my life. I always gave the absolute worst advice when we had our late night talks under the stars. Yet, we would all three come back just as anxious as the time before.

            So I as I stood there brushing my teeth years later, I look back on those late night talks, and think about a younger self pushing his toothbrush against the wall and think about how trivial it all was. How truly clueless about life I was. I think about the things I worry about now as I brush my teeth. How seemingly insurmountable they are. I’ve gotten older but my worries aren’t any less.  In fact, they are even more real. I worry now about the things that if I fail, can’t be fixed by a trip to the dentist. I’m not complaining about my life. I couldn’t begin to count all the amazing privileges I have or the infinite amount of people that have blessed me in even more infinite ways. I don’t have life all figured out. But what I have learned is that people are a lot stronger than they give themselves credit for. I know I’ll make it through my worries and so will Ben and so will all of you reading this. Life isn’t easy for anyone and honestly I can’t wait for the day when I look back and laugh at the problems I have now. Maybe I’ll even be brushing my teeth.

“There’s no point in going through all this crap if you’re not going to enjoy the ride.”

"Life's greatest tragedy is that we get old too fast and wise too late."